


Paris... Texas?

by Tempomental



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Alternate Universe - Paris, Crack, Gen, Original Kwamis, That's Paris TX Y'all, Yee Haw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:16:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26747944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tempomental/pseuds/Tempomental
Summary: Gabriel finds himself scouring Paris for a Miraculous. Where he winds up, and what he finds, are not exactly what he imagined.
Comments: 23
Kudos: 24





	Paris... Texas?

Gabriel got off the plane in Dallas and examined the map that he had brought with him. He would need to rent a car to get to his final destination, one where legend had only spoken of. Magical powers awaited him as he searched for the secret of life.

He got to the rent-a-car window and asked for the most luxurious car they had in stock. Once signing all the papers and receiving the keys, he put his bags in the trunk, opened the door, and sat in the car.

It took five minutes for him to realize that a driver wasn’t going to come along and drive him to his destination. It had been a while since he had driven a car, but that wasn’t going to stop him. He had a mission, and he was going to fulfill that mission.

Taking the highway and what could only be described as back roads, he arrived at the town square about two hours after starting the drive. He got out of the car, stretched his legs, and looked at the map again. The Evergreen Cemetery. That was a longer walk than he wanted to take, so he got back in the car and headed south until he was at the cemetery gates. He parked the car and searched for the mausoleum.  _ There _ . He went inside and examined the statue, counting the number of bricks in the wall. He went to the fifth brick up, third brick over, and pushed it in. A drawer underneath the brick opened. Inside the drawer was a small box with a star on it.

He opened the box, revealing a giant gold belt buckle. A ball of light appeared, and a small bull appeared, floating in the middle of the air.

“Howdy!”

“Greetings… I am Gabriel Agreste, and I’m told…”

“Well, I’m pleased to meet you, Gabriel Ay-greste. My name’s Yaall, and I’m the kwami of this here belt buckle! All you have to do is put the belt buckle on and I’ll grant you magical powers the likes of which you haven’t seen!”

Gabriel looked down at his neatly pressed jeans and polo shirt. A  _ belt buckle _ … OK, well, if that’s what it took, then that’s what it took. He didn’t need to pierce his ears for this one, at least. He attached the belt buckle to his belt and looked at the strange floating creature.

“That’s fantastic! Now, all you need to do is say  _ Yaall, yee-haw! _ and you’ll be granted those magical powers! When you’re finished using your powers, just say  _ Yaall, whoa there! _ and you’ll de-transform back to plain old Gabriel Ay-greste.”

“Excuse me, I am _not_ _plain_. And it’s Uh- _greste_ , not _Ay-_ greste.”

“Bless your heart.”

“Excuse me, what?”

“Oh, that’s just me giving you a little of that Texas hospitality. Well, what are you waiting for? I ain’t got all day! I’ve been asleep for… well, quite some time, I imagine! Let’s get this rodeo on the road!”

Gabriel closed his eyes. Finally, the magical power that he was lacking to accomplish his mission was at his fingertips! Or, at least at his waist. He took a deep breath and steeled himself. “Yaall,  _ yee-haw _ !”

Magic washed over him, leaving him with a strange feeling. His looked over himself. There were chaps over his immaculately-pressed jeans, and his legs were slightly bowed. His gucci loafers were replaced by cowboy boots with spurs on the bottom of them. His shirt was now a chambray workshirt, with a red-white-and-blue vest over the top of it, with a white leather star embroidered on the breast. There was a lasso hitched to his side, and a very heavy, very large hat on his head.

It was OK if he looked ridiculous, he decided. This was for the greater good. This was to save his wife. Why getting magical jewelry -- or in this case, accessories -- from a strange place in Paris was beyond him, but this was what the strange man wearing the Hawaiian shirt told him needed to be done.

He left the mausoleum and walked back to his car. Unfortunately, his car had been replaced by a mustang that was tied to the gate. Gabriel had never ridden a horse before. He wasn’t even sure how to get  _ on _ a horse. Maybe Western wear would be his next theme to celebrate his wife, and he could pay someone to sit on a horse for him. Did they even *have* horses in France? He shook his head to clear his thoughts. This kind of rambling would get him nowhere.

He felt a mental urge to climb on top of the horse and ride back into town. He loosed the horse from the gate, and carefully holding the end of the rope, he climbed into the saddle. He gave the horse a gentle nudge and rode -- very slowly -- back to town.

Halfway to the town square, the horse made an abrupt turn and started heading toward the southeast corner of the city. There, in the distance, was an Eiffel Tower!  _ Of course _ , Gabriel realized.  _ Paris, Texas. _ It was cute how the locals here decided to imitate the high culture of Paris. He would have to take a picture of the Tower to show all his friends… well… his personal assistant… when he got back home.

At the base of the tower was the old man. “I see you have followed my instructions. Very good. Now that you have the power of the Bull, you are prepared.”

**Author's Note:**

> AKA "Tempomental cleans out his WIP folder". I wrote this about a year ago as part of a writing exercise and it never saw the light of day. Maybe I'll develop this further... Let me know your thoughts!


End file.
